Several months ago when I was on my three month vacation from my anxiety-provoking job at the dental office I literally had nothing to do but bathe myself in self-care rituals. These rituals consisted of journaling, yoga-ing, resting, breathing, self-coaching, self-love-ing, playing, reading, and eating. I carried out each task as mindfully as I could (when I remembered) and as slowly and non-frantically as I wanted (when I remembered). I stopped driving and I starting increasing the movement of my legs by walking to where I needed to go. Life was much slower pace for me back then, and I loved every minute of it, excluding the minutes where I started to freak out about having to go back to my anxiety-provoking job at the dental office because I needed to pay my bills! (I quickly realized that that story was, in fact, false). I never got bored. I loved every minute of it. I wanted to live life like this forever! Slow and steady wins the race, right?
Well, it’s interesting to look at my life now and compare it to when I was on my three month vacation. (Ok, ok! Fine! I’ll confess! It wasn’t a vacation! It was a stress leave!) I like to think I just experienced my mid-life crisis mid-twenties instead.
So, I thought I wanted to live my life in the slow lane with all of the other turtle-folk, so why am I as busy as ever right now? And, might I add, why do I love it?
This is when wanting to know all of the answers and figuring everything out can just get in the way of living our lives. I could say that I am actually overworking myself and striving for goals that are too big. But why do I love it? I could say that I am filling my life with decoys to keep me distracted from other issues that are going on in my life. But why do I feel so light and excited? I could say that I needed that three month vacation (whoops, said it again) in order to prepare my body, mind, and soul for the big project the universe knew that I was going to be involved in come October. Hmm, that could make sense.
But the point is, I could say a lot of things. I could come up with tons of different reasons why I should or shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing right now. You also could come up with tons of reasons why you should or shouldn’t be doing or experiencing what you’re doing or experiencing right now! But what would be the point?
The point is it is happening. And it’s all happening for a reason. Whether you know that reason or not yet, just try to sit back and relax. Whether you know why you are experiencing so much pain right now, or why your family is making everything so hard for you, or why you can’t seem to figure out your life. Just trust me and try to sit back and relax. Once you stop analyzing and trying to “figure it all out” and start accepting what is, that’s when the magic happens. That’s actually when you will figure it all out! Counterintuitive? Yes! Counterproductive? No!
My cards are always being dealt to me for a reason. I experienced pelvic pain for a reason. I experienced anxiety for a reason. I got a three month vacation for a reason. 🙂 I am working my tail off right now for a reason.
Everything that felt like the worst thing that could happen to me has actually allowed for the best things to happen for me.
And your story will be no different.
So, enjoy! 🙂
(Spelling and grammatical mistakes in this post are my gift to you this week! Hey, I’m busy, remember!!??)