If this was the only thing you learned for the rest of your life, well, you could live a fantastic or a miserable life. It could really go either way…
The truth is, we humans, are so darn intelligent and stubborn, that we will do our darnedest to prove ourselves right, no matter what. If I tell myself that it will be too hard to build myself a thriving and enriching coaching business, then it will be too hard to build myself a thriving and enriching business, and I won’t. If you tell yourself that you are overweight because you just don’t have the energy to do anything about it, then you won’t have the energy to do anything to change being overweight, and you’ll be overweight. If you tell yourself that your chronic pain won’t ever go away, (enter fight or flight response…eeek!) then your chronic pain won’t go away. It is these beliefs that we have either consciously or sub-consciously that creates the life we are living. We are constantly trying to prove ourselves right with the thoughts we tell ourselves, whether we know it or not. Our lives are a direct result of what we are thinking and believing.
I recently attended a brilliant business seminar where they talked a lot about intentions. The speaker made an extremely eye-opening, yet obvious, statement. He stated with full-on confidence that most peoples’ intentions are this: to avoid discomfort. I noticed my head silently nodding as if he had just asked us to all stand up and “Give me an Amen!” and I harmoniously sang “AMEN!!” My breathing just about stopped when he said this. Seriously, Meghan? Ah shit. This was still an intention I was holding on to. Well, good to know, I guess! And just as fast as the self-pressure started to weigh me down, it lightened up and went away. I had a new-found awareness.
So, if it is the majority of peoples’ intentions to avoid discomfort, it makes sense that we are all hustling and bustling (comfortably, of course) through our lives without accomplishing the things that our hearts yearn to accomplish. If I’m dragging my intention, “to avoid discomfort”, around with me, and my heart yearns to build a successful and enriching coaching business, I probably won’t, because it involves being extremely uncomfortable at times, which will be challenging (circling back to the initial thought: “It will be too hard…”). If you want to lose weight, and your deep-seated intention is to avoid discomfort, you probably won’t want to haul your arse to the gym and spend 30 uncomfortable minutes gasping on the treadmill. This cycles back to the original thought that you don’t have the energy to do anything about it, because you’re too dang comfortable sitting on the couch lightly exercising your arms into the bag of Cheetos, and the thought of breaking a sweat just doesn’t seem quite as comfortable! And if you are one of the many people dealing with chronic pain…as uncomfortable as the pain feels, it actually is probably more comfortable to continue thinking the same negative thought patterns, to keep suppressing emotions instead of learning how to feel those uncomfortable suckers like anger, sadness, etc., and to stay at the same job, in the same marriage, etc. than to uproot and investigate your life, both internally and externally, so you can see what’s really going on. Whoa, nelly! Can we say UNCOMFORTABLE!? Yep, the chronic pain ain’t going anywhere, just as you originally hoped for.
Look at us intelligent beings proving ourselves right all the time! What a clever species! It’s almost as if we are too stubborn to fail, even if the outcome is not exactly or not close to what we want at all. Well, at least we’re right, right?