A Little Give and Take

You all know me as a Life Coach, but I actually dabble in some other very fun “jobs” as well. I make jewellery and I’m also a manager at a Gift Boutique. Hey, what can I say. I am a multi-passionate (and dare I say talented) young woman who just can’t settle for one thing!!

At the Gift Boutique I spend a lot of time helping my clients pick out the perfect gift for their recipient. Some of the many things we sell at the boutique are spa products like lotions, soaps, bath bombs, and bubble bath. When my clients inform me they are buying for their friend who is a mother (which means not a whole lot of time for herself) I like to recommend some delicious spa products so she can do some much needed pampering. This will give her an excuse to take some time for her own self-care regimen. I will point out our frothy bath bombs and bubblicious bubble baths and suggest pairing it with a nice bottle of wine. I even offer to wrap it up into a beautiful gift basket for her!

And this is the response I get 99% of the time:

“Oh, heavens no! She doesn’t have time to pamper herself! She’s not into that kind of thing. She’ll never use it. She’s a MOTHER – were you even listening to me?”

And I will say:

“Exactly! That is exactly WHY you need to give her this…”

But the client is no longer listening at this point.

Ok, people, listen up. Just because you are a mother does not mean you can no longer take care of yourself! In fact, that is exactly the reason WHY you should be taking care of yourself! You spend the majority of your day taking care of others. You DESERVE to bugger off for 30 minutes to indulge in some bubbles and vino.

But mothers tend to think it’s selfish if they are doing something that is solely for themselves. So they give and give and give, until they get to roll in to bed, sleep, and do it all again the next day.

The risky thing about this is humans aren’t designed to give and give and give. They are designed to give, and then to take, and then give again, and then take again.

It’s the same as healthy eating. Everyone knows that a healthy diet includes a good balance of all of the food groups. We know that too much of anything is not good for us. So why do we think that this should be any different? Giving too much is no good for our soul. In fact, giving too much is what IS selfish.

Are you a mom who wants to smack me across the face yet? 🙂


Giving and giving and giving is selfish because when you don’t take the time to take care of yourself you will never ever be able to fully be there for your family. When you are running on empty (ahem, not giving yourself time for self-care) you are more likely to over-react, argue, overeat, and not fully appreciate your family. You have so much more to give when you are taking the time to gas up by doing things that help you reenergize, refocus, and reconnect to yourself.

Self-care doesn’t have to look a certain way, either. It can look like burying your head in a good book for 20 minutes, taking yourself for a walk around the block, grabbing sushi with your closest friends, or even just retreating to your favourite space in your house to write in your journal.

So, all you mothers out there, it’s time to be selfless! Take time for yourself starting today. Let your family experience the real you who is rested, energized, and glowing on the inside and out!

And, for all you friends of mothers out there, just buy the bubble bath, will you?